A Grown-Up’s Role in the Kitchen

Preparing, guiding, and supporting your kid in their learning

Whether in the classroom or the kitchen, knowing when to step in and when to step back is one of the trickiest parts of supporting a kid’s learning. Step in too much, and you rob them of a chance to learn. Step back too far, and they may feel unsafe or alone. The balance between guiding and letting go isn’t just key to cooking; it’s how kids become empowered learners.

Every Nibblings recipe is designed with this balance in mind—from the Setting Up for Success tips to the Grab Your Grown-Up callouts that signal when a kid likely needs support. Each recipe is developmentally appropriate, intentional, and grounded in what we know from learning science and pedagogy: kids learn best when they are well set up for a task and feel supported—but not directed—by a trusted grown up.

Beyond the recipe itself, how you engage during the cooking process determines whether your kid walks away with confidence in their ability to tackle challenges independently. When kids experience trial and error and small failures on their own terms, they carry that learning with them. They learn they can figure things out, ask for help when they need it, and try again. That’s self-reliance and the kitchen is a great place to learn it!

Your Role: Prepare and guide

In Montessori classrooms, teachers are called guides. Their job is to prepare the environment, organize materials, establish routines, and design tasks that are just challenging enough so kids can own their learning process. Once the environment is set, the teacher steps back to observe, only stepping in when the kids truly need guidance.

When your kid is working through a Nibblings recipe, I encourage you to take on a similar role. What does that balance look like in practice? When your kid is cooking from a Nibblings recipe, your role is simple: prepare and guide.

Prepare the space

A well-prepared space also helps kids self-regulate; they can see what they need, manage their materials, and anticipate what’s next without relying on you.

• Make sure the kitchen is safe and that tools and ingredients are within reach.

• If your child is using a new tool, model how to use it before they begin.

• Each Nibblings recipe includes a Setting Up for Success section to help you prepare the environment so your kid can focus on the learning and the joy of cooking.

Plan your own role

You know your kid and yourself. If sitting beside them makes them over-reliant, take a step back. If you tend to jump in the moment things get hard, give yourself a parallel task—for example, tidying, reading, or working nearby. Be present, but don’t hover. Sometimes the best support is quiet confidence from across the room.

Trust the process

Struggle isn’t failure; it’s where the most powerful learning happens. When things start to fall apart—an egg cracks, batter spills—pause and see how your kid responds. These learning moments are opportunities for problem-solving and perseverance.

When kids feel secure enough to take risks, they’re far more likely to persevere through challenges and to carry that resilience into every other part of their lives.

Help without taking over

When your kid asks you to step in or it’s clear that they have exhausted all options on their own, support them as a guide, but don’t take charge. When they come to you, try saying something like:

• “Look back at the recipe.”

  • When your kid asks, “What do I do next?” or “How long should this bake?” say, “Look back at the recipe.” It redirects them to the source of information and reinforces that the answers are already within their reach. You’re teaching them to be resourceful, and over time, you’ll find they ask fewer questions and rely more on themselves and the materials in front of them.

• “What have you tried so far?”

  • This question invites your kid to metacognate—to think about one’s own thinking. When you ask this question, your kid has to pause, reflect, and articulate their process. Sometimes, they’ll realize the solution themselves while explaining it to you (“Oh wait, I forgot to check the next step!”). Other times, you’ll learn what’s confusing them, so you can guide them effectively without taking over.

• “Let’s try it together.”

  • If a task feels truly out of reach, work side by side instead of doing it for them. You’re modeling persistence, collaboration, and problem-solving. You’re not rescuing them from the challenge, you’re working with them to overcome it. Once the task is complete, step back again so they can continue independently.

So next time your kid is cooking from a Nibblings recipe try to be their guide, not their leader. Let them stir, spill, and problem solve. It might take longer. It might be messier but those experiences teach your kids to be self-reliant and confident, skills that they can take with them into all learning environments.